


Never Here

by warblingaway (fallingthorns)



Series: Doing Something Right [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Family, Family Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:57:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingthorns/pseuds/warblingaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine and Kurt have an argument that leaves their kids worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Here

**Author's Note:**

> In this one, Zoey is 9, Maddie is 4, and Parker is around 6 months old.

Blaine did not have a good day.  The kindergartners had been, for lack of better words, little shits all day, and the flu was going around, so on top of that, they were puking everywhere.  He’d struggled that morning to get Maddie into acceptable clothes and into her preschool classroom in one piece, and he’d had to fight tooth and nail with Zoey in order to convince her that it _was_ okay for fourth graders to wear their hair in ponytails.  He’d barely made it into his own classroom in time, only to be greeted by a kindergartener crying about her snow ruined shoes.

Kurt has been incredibly busy at work for the past few months.  He leaves early in the morning almost every day, including Saturday, and he comes home late at night, after Blaine has already put the kids to bed.

Blaine sighs as he pushes open the front door to the apartment, tugging Maddie inside, Zoey trailing in behind them.  He smiles at the babysitter as she walks up to him, but he knows that it looks strained. 

“Thank you,” he says as she passes him in the doorway.

“It’s no problem,” she says, like she does every time Blaine thanks her for babysitting Parker during the day while they’re both at work.  “He’s still napping.”

Blaine nods, and she squeezes his arm gently before heading out the door and closing it behind her.  Zoey is already rummaging in the fridge for something to eat, while Maddie plunks herself next to the stack of blocks in the corner of the living room.  He sighs again and leans his elbows against the counter, resting his head on his hands and taking a few deep calming breaths.

He’s so tired.  He’s so, so tired of this, of coming home to a babysitter and watching the kids by himself, of never seeing his husband anymore except for the few seconds he can open his eyes when he comes home late at night and crawls into their bed.

“Daddy,” Maddie’s voice sounds from next to him.  “Can I have a snack?”

Blaine takes one last deep breath and lifts his head, looking down at his daughter beside him, her hands clasped in front of her as she looks up at him with shining eyes.

“Of course, baby,” he says, standing up and walking towards the cabinet.  “Crackers?” He asks, holding out the box for Maddie to see.

She nods and climbs up into a chair at the table, smiling as Blaine sets a plate of crackers in front of her. 

“Thank you,” she says.

“You’re welcome, Mads,” he says, brushing her thick black hair out of the way before moving back into the kitchen.

Blaine’s just about to start making dinner when he hears a loud, angry cry come from the nursery. 

Blaine sighs and closes the cabinet, making his way towards the baby room.  He walks in to find a red faced Parker, sitting up in his crib and wailing at the top of his lungs.

“Hi, baby boy,” he whispers, plucking him out of the crib and balancing him on his hip.  He quickly realizes that he needs a diaper change, at least he’s guessing by the smell he just caught.  “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Blaine quickly changes his diaper and, sure enough, he’s the happy, gurgling baby again almost instantly.  “It’s amazing what a clean diaper can do to your personality,” Blaine muses, even though he knows that a six-month-old baby can’t understand him.  He finds it cathartic, usually, talking to something that doesn’t know what you’re saying.

Parker continues gurgling on Blaine’s hip as he carries him into the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief when he sees Zoey sitting at the table doing her homework.  That’s one fight he doesn’t have to pick tonight, and for that, he’s forever thankful.  Especially since that’s one of the messier arguments he gets into at least twice a week.

Parker mumbles again, slobbering all over Blaine’s shoulder.  “I know,” Blaine murmurs, petting his soft fuzzy hair.  “I miss Papa, too.”

Blaine sets Parker down in the playpen in the corner of the kitchen, handing him a stuffed dog and grinning as he gurgles and rips it out of Blaine’s hand.  He walks back towards the stove, pulling out a pot and filling it with water before beginning to boil it.  Buttered noodles would have to cut it tonight.  He just wasn’t in the mood for anything else.

Blaine laughs as Parker’s murmurs grow louder, his mouth forming all the mumbles and gurgles and streaming them together into lumps of sound.

“Da-da!”

Blaine’s eyes widen, and he sees Zoey’s head pop up from where she’s sitting at the kitchen table.

“Did he just –” Blaine starts, smiling when Zoey’s face splits out in a grin and she nods.  Blaine knows there’s always the ongoing debate of babies know what they’re saying at this age, but Blaine doesn’t care, because Parker just said something resembling the word Daddy, and that’s enough for him.

He rushes over to the playpen, smiling as Zoey tickles his tummy and he gurgles again.  Blaine scoops him up and coos at him, laughing and spinning him around in a few circles. 

“Congrats, Dad,” Zoey says, smiling at him.  “Papa got Maddie’s first word, but you got both mine and Parker’s, so it look like you’re winning for now.”

Blaine’s smile falters a little.  He tries not to think that if Kurt wasn’t gone all the time, then maybe he would have been here for this.  But not thinking about that doesn’t really work out, since he clearly ends up thinking about it anyway. 

He thinks back as he balances Parker on his hip and stirs the pasta, trying to remember if Kurt was here when Parker sat up for the first time, or when he gurgled for the first time, and, the more he thinks about it, he realizes that he can’t remember, and that based off of how often Kurt has been working ,the chances of him having missed all of Parker’s firsts are higher than him having been there for them.

Blaine isn’t going to cry over this, not with three kids to feed and pretend to look happy for. He glances at the clock, sighing in relief when he sees that it’s almost 7, which means that he can safely put Maddie to bed without much of a struggle in around thirty minutes. 

Once the pasta is done, he spoons it into two bowls and sets them in front of Zoey and Maddie.  Blaine’s just getting out Parker’s baby food – peaches tonight, Parker’s favorite, because Blaine isn’t really in the mood to end up with spit up all over his face and he doesn’t want to struggle with solid foods, either – when Maddie’s small voice sounds from the table.

“Can I have something to drink?” She asks.

Blaine grabs the baby food and stands up, nodding at Maddie while looking at Zoey.  “Zoe, could you –”

Zoey must see it on his face, the exhaustion and frustration he’s feeling, because she nods and, without arguing, gets one of Maddie’s Sippy cups and fills it with apple juice.  She’s always been a perspective girl, and, Blaine notes, it’s only getting stronger as she grows older.

“Thank you,” Blaine tells her, and she nods and sits back down to finish her dinner.

Once they’re done eating and Blaine has spooned all the food into Parker’s mouth, he sends Zoey off to help get Maddie ready for bed.  He sets Parker back down in the playpen while he cleans the dishes, and once he’s done with that, Blaine scoops him back up and takes him back into the baby room.

Blaine changes his diaper again, cooing at him and trying to get him calm enough so that he’ll fall asleep once he sets him back in the crib.  “There we go, baby,” Blaine murmurs as he lays Parker down.  He leans over the edge of the crib and presses his lips gently to Parker’s forehead, gently pushing the short, fuzzy curls off his forehead.  “Goodnight, Park,” he whispers.  “Papa will be home soon.”

He says that every night, almost like he’s willing for Kurt to come home earlier for once, like him saying it will somehow make the universe work in his favor.  And almost every night for the past three months, Kurt’s come home past midnight, exhausted from work, more often than not just stripping of his clothes and crawling into bed.

Blaine’s pleas have yet to work, but that doesn’t stop him from hoping.

Parker grumbles for a few seconds longer before falling silent, and Blaine takes that as his time to leave.  He pokes his head into the girls’ room, seeing Zoey sitting on Maddie’s bed reading her a story.

“Time for bed, Mads,” he whispers, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead.  She snuggles further down into her bed as Zoey stands up and walks over to her own bed. 

Once Maddie is tucked in, he walks over to Zoey’s bed and smiles at her.  “Thank you for helping me,” he whispers.

She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.  “I know it’s hard for you with Papa working all the time,” she says, keeping her voice quiet so Maddie doesn’t overhear them.   She pauses for a moment, biting her lower lip.  “You look sad all the time now,” she says softly after a few moments.

Blaine sniffs and sighs, sitting down on the edge of her bed and staring at his hands.  He knows Zoey’s looking at him, and he can’t bear to see her face. 

“I am a little sad, Zoe,” he says after a few moments.  “I just miss having your Papa around.”

He sees Zoey nod out of his peripheral vision.  “We miss him, too,” she whispers.  “Maddie asks about him a lot when you aren’t around.  Especially before bed while you’re putting Parker to sleep.”

Blaine stands up and takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and giving Zoey a small smile.  “Go to bed, Zoe,” he says after a few moments.  “I’ll make your favorite pancakes in the morning because you’ve been so helpful.”

Zoey smiles at him, and Blaine pulls the covers tighter around her before heading out of the room and turning off the lights.  He glances at his watch and notes that it’s only 8:30 and that all of the kids are in bed.  That’s the record for the week, he thinks.

Blaine could go to bed now.  He’s tired enough, but he feels restless.

He’s about to go into the bedroom and throw a pair of pajama pants on when the door jingles with the sound of keys unlocking it.  Blaine backtracks into the living room, raising an eyebrow at Kurt as he walks into the apartment, kicking off his shoes and hanging his coat up on the rack.

Kurt glances up once he sets his bag down, a soft smile forming on his lips when he sees Blaine.  “Hey,” he says, walking over to him.  Kurt presses a quick kiss to the corner of Blaine’s mouth, pulling away after a moment and glancing around the apartment.  “Where are the babies?”

Blaine feels the frustration he’s been having all day build up again.  He takes a deep breath, taking a step back and away from Kurt.  “They’re sleeping, Kurt.”

Kurt’s forehead scrunches in confusion.  “It’s 8:30.”

Blaine huffs, giving Kurt a _no shit_ kind of look.  “I saw the opportunity and took it,” he says.  “I’m exhausted, so I figured it would be better for everyone if we all just went to bed earlier.”

“You could have kept them awake so I can see them,” Kurt says, placing his hands on his hips.

Blaine lets out a humorless laugh.  “Kurt, you _never_ get home before midnight,” he says, shaking his head in amusement.  “This is the first time in _months_ that you’ve been home before _I’ve_ gone to bed.”

“That’s not –”

“It is true, Kurt!”

“I never get to see the kids, Blaine!” Kurt says, and shit, they’re shouting now, they’re bound to wake the kids up.  “And the one night I’m home early, they’re already asleep!”

“I’m _tired!”_ Blaine yells, throwing his hands up in the air.  “I’m exhausted.  I work all day, and I come home and have three kids to take care of by myself.  I never see you anymore, the _kids_ never see you anymore.”

“That’s not my –”

“I know, it’s not your fault, it’s your work, you can’t help it that you have sucky hours,” Blaine retorts.  “We’ve been over this.”

Kurt’s breathing heavily now, his eyes narrowed at Blaine.  “One night,” Kurt says, his voice low and stern.  “I come home early _one night_ and this is what happens.”

“I know you say it’s the office demanding these hours of you,” Blaine says, because apparently he isn’t done, and now that he’s started, he’s not even sure if he could stop if he wanted to.  “But I know, Kurt.  There are other parents that work with you who don’t have your hours.  They work normal hours on weekdays and get weekends off.  You take _half of Sunday_ off, Kurt.  Half a day.  That’s it.”  Blaine pauses and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself and failing.  “You could do something about it if you wanted to.”

Kurt glares at him again and turns towards the bedroom, not shutting the door behind him which Blaine takes as his invitation to follow him and continue this in there.

“We aren’t low on money, Kurt,” Blaine says as he pulls off his shirt and puts on a worn out t-shirt.  “You don’t _need_ to work as much as you do.”

“I like working,” Kurt says. 

“More than you like seeing your kids?”

Kurt pauses and turns to Blaine, his eyes wide and his mouth taught.  “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I?” Blaine asks, letting out a small huff of breath.  “You know what Zoey told me today? She said that Maddie’s been telling her how much she misses you.” 

He watches as Kurt bites his lower lip, his eyes dropping down to the ground.

“And Parker?” Blaine continues.  “He said ‘da-da’ today, Kurt.  Parker’s first words, and you weren’t even here.”

Kurt’s eyes snap up to Blaine’s face at that, his face crumbling a little.

“Parker’s probably our last baby, Kurt,” Blaine whispers, and he won’t cry yet, he has to wait just a few more minutes.  “He’s probably our last baby, and you’re missing all his firsts.”

Blaine dutifully ignores the sunken expression on Kurt’s face as he goes into the closet and grabs the spare blanket and pillow from the shelf.

“Where are you going?” Kurt whispers once Blaine’s almost out the door.  Blaine turns to see Kurt’s eyes filling with tears, his hands clutched together in front of him.

“The couch,” Blaine says, turning around again before the urge to wrap Kurt up in his arms overwhelms him.

Blaine walks past the girls’ room, knowing that they’re most likely awake, pausing outside of Parker’s room briefly to make sure that he isn’t crying.

When he’s sure that he’s not, Blaine walks over to the couch and sets his pillow down, flopping down on the worn cushions and letting out a long breath as he pulls the blanket over his body.  He closes his eyes and tries to shut out the argument that’s on loop in his head, willing sleep to just come over his body.

He hears a pair of small feet padding over to couch, not fully registering them until he feels a small, cool hand on his face.

“Daddy?”

Blaine opens his eyes and sees Maddie looking right at him, her eyes wide as her lower lip trembles.  “What’s up, sweetie?” He asks, his voice hoarse as he sits up.  He guesses that at least thirty minutes have passed since he made camp on the couch, but he can’t be sure.

“Why are you on the couch?”

Blaine sighs and scoops her up, setting her down on his leg as she leans against his chest.  “Your Papa and I had a little fight,” he says, smoothing her hair down gently with his hand.

Maddie is silent for a minute.  “Are you and Papa going to get a divorce?”

Blaine sucks in a breath, his eyes prickling with tears again.  He doesn’t know how a four year old even knows what that is, but it still breaks his heart to be asked that question.

“No, baby,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.  “I love your Papa.”

“You do?” She says, her eyes wide and hopeful as she turns to face him straight on.  “You still love him? Even though you’re fighting?”

“Of course,” he says, his voice soft.  “I love your Papa very much.”

Seemingly satisfied, Maddie hops off his lap and smiles at him.  “Good,” she says matter-of-factly.  “I can go tell Zoey to stop worrying.”

Blaine opens his mouth to say something, but she’s already padding down the hallway.

Of course the kids were worried.  That’s what kids did when their parents fought.  Blaine remembers jumping to that conclusion himself when he was younger – and when he was older, now that he thinks about it – and it breaks his heart to see his own kids thinking the same things about him and Kurt.

Sighing, Blaine figures he should go and check on Zoey.  He toes on his slippers and walks quietly down the hallway.  He pauses when he sees the door to the baby room cracked open.  Peeking inside, Blaine’s insides are torn out even more when he notices Kurt standing next to the crib, cradling Parker in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Blaine hears him whisper as he rocks Parker.  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.  I’m so sorry I haven’t been here.  I’m sorry, baby.”  His voice is cracking, and Blaine can tell that he’s holding in tears.

“You deserve all the love in the world,” Kurt murmurs to the sleeping baby in his arms.  “I’m sorry I haven’t been giving that to you.  You – you’re so lucky to have your daddy, Parker.  He’s such a good daddy.”

Blaine clears his throat, and Kurt’s head lifts up to look at him.  Blaine can see the tears shining in his eyes, threatening to pool out at any minute.

“I’m going to cut down my hours,” Kurt says after a few moments of silence, his voice soft and quiet so that he doesn’t wake Parker.  “I – I’m sorry, B.”

Blaine takes in a shaky breath and walks over to Kurt, prying the sleeping baby out of his arms and setting him back down in the crib.  He doesn’t say anything as he takes Kurt’s hand and leads him back into their bedroom.

“Stay here,” he murmurs as he sets Kurt down on the bed.  “I’m going to make sure the girls are okay.”

Kurt bites his lower lip and nods, Blaine turning and walking towards their room.  He gently nudges the door open and peers inside, smiling when he sees Maddie curled up next to Zoey on her bed.

“You guys are okay, right?” Zoey whispers, startling Blaine.

“We’re fine,” Blaine says, smiling at her.  “Stop worrying, Zoe.”

Zoey smiles and shifts against Maddie a little.

“And I know you sent Maddie to figure out what was going on,” he says after a moment.  “I’m not that easily fooled, Zoey, you should know that by now.”

Zoey laughs and Blaine closes the door again.  He makes his way back to his own bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him and smiling softly at Kurt.  He’s curled up against the pillows under the blankets, but he’s looking right at Blaine with watery eyes, so he knows he isn’t asleep.

Blaine sits on the edge of the bed, not wanting to crawl in yet just in case he gets kicked back out.

“They’re fine,” Blaine says, knowing what Kurt is thinking.  “Maddie and Zoey were worried we were getting a divorce, but other than that, they’re okay.”

Kurt sucks in a breath, his voice hitching as he sits up and leans against the headboard.  “God,” Kurt whispers, dropping his head in his hands. 

“We are okay, right?” Blaine whispers, not taking his eyes off of Kurt.

Kurt looks up at him, his eyes shining with tears in the dim light.  “Of course,” Kurt says softly.  “I – I’m sorry I haven’t been around.  I didn’t really realize it was causing such an issue.”

Blaine shrugs, avoiding Kurt’s gaze.  “I didn’t really tell you it was.”

“But I should have known,” Kurt whispers.  He scoots up next to Blaine on the end of the bed and grabs his hands.  “You’re my husband, Blaine.  I should be able to tell when you start getting warn down.”

Blaine shrugs again.  “You’re busy,” he says.  “And you never really saw any of us outside of half of Sunday.  I don’t blame you.”

“Well you _should,”_ Kurt says, the tears now streaking down his cheeks. Blaine lifts a hand to wipe them off.  “We’re a family.  We’re supposed to do things together.”

Blaine stays silent, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says again after a few moments of silence.  “Please, Blaine, please – please forgive me.”

Blaine looks at Kurt again, his eyes wide.  “Of course I forgive you,” he whispers.  “I love you.  None of this has changed that fact.”

Kurt smiles softly, letting go of Blaine’s hands and crawling back up the bed.  “Are you – are you going to sleep in here tonight?” Kurt asks quietly once he’s under the covers.

Blaine smiles and nods.  “Of course,” he murmurs, shuffling his way up the bed and under the blanket.  He turns to face Kurt, wrapping his arm around his waist and pulling him closer until their noses are brushing.  “And, for the record, I really am happy that you’re cutting down on your hours.  It means you’ll be happier, too.  Not just us.”

Kurt grins and closes his eyes, breathing in Blaine’s scent.  “I’ll be happier because my family will be happier.”

Blaine smiles, the first real smile he’s felt since the day began.  “I love you,” he whispers.

Kurt grins back, his hands running up and down Blaine’s chest, his biceps, his face, his neck.  “I love you, too.”  He leans in to kiss Blaine, and Blaine smiles into it, because everything somehow managed to piece itself back together.

 


End file.
